I'll Always Love You

We are not what we do. That has been such a hard concept to understand. I see who I am and what I do to be so intertwined. What I do and say comes out of me so if it hurts someone, then there's something wrong with Me.

But I am trying to see it differently. We are created as God's children. That is our identity. We make bad choices - the Behavior is bad, but We are not. We've been redeemed. It's a hard concept that I can't fully wrap my mind around, but I'm trying to.

This past week, I tried to apply that concept to my kids. Tom is not his shouting out. Tom is a child of God who makes bad choices sometimes (or frequently). I constantly had to remind myself of this this week, but it's amazing how looking through that lens gave me so much more energy and love for the kids throughout the week. I saw them differently. I loved them differently. Not perfectly, and I still had my moments, but it feels better.

I ended Friday reading to them I'll Always Love You. I explained to them that I know that their choices aren't who they are and, even though I get upset sometimes, it's their choices and not them that I'm upset at because I know their potential. I told them all, for the first time, that I loved them very much - and I actually meant it.

This Friday, I went into our staff meeting feeling very different from most Fridays. I felt relaxed and happy. Not because the week went perfectly, or even close to it. But, all my kids' quirks and all the issues we've had that I can't control, I didn't hold them as close to me this week. This week, all of Tom's shouting out and Ashley's lack of focus, and the classes' excessive talking, all those things just were. They were detached from the kids. They weren't as frustrating and hopeless because, at the core, these kids are created and loved by God.

As God begins to help me see them differently, maybe He'll change how I see myself.