I went back to San Marino this week to watch my cousins in their holiday program. We had a holiday program too, right before we left for vacations, but the moment I stepped into San Marino's auditorium, the difference of the two programs began to make me uncomfortable. San Marino had a live band, a professional music teacher, lighting effects, professional staging. We put our program together in a week and a half. My students' musically challenged teacher, me, tried to teach them to sing "Deck the Halls". We sang to the radio. We brainstormed ways to make sure all the students could be seen without choir stands. We did our best but, for a few minutes, I mourned the seeming loss that my students experienced. How can I offer them the experience that other children have? And yet, I realized, that even my students, in a low-income, violence-infested neighborhood, have more opportunities than a lot of other students around this world. Why is the disparity so great?

The disparities are prevalent in all areas of life. I went to visit my family and my uncle told me of the conditions that their maid lived under. Small cramped rooms in Los Angeles' Chinatown. And yet, as he shared, there was a sense of complacency. Sure he felt bad for her condition, but he suppressed those feelings claiming "that's just the way life is."

"That's just the way life is." Can I look my kids in the face and tell them "Sorry life sucks for you, but that's just the way life is?" Can I really look at my grandma's maid and say, "Sorry you live in a cramped dorm room and I live comfortably 4 to our 4 bedroom house, but that's just the way life is." I can't. I can't look them in the eyes and say these things, but I do. I do it in my actions because, although my heart aches, I too am complacent in my own way. I can't say "that's just the way life is" and my heart can't get comfortable, but neither am I moved into action. I am too selfish. Too self-focused. Too untrusting of God to take care of ME. At the end of the day, despite my feelings, I am more concerned about ME than anyone else. That's what my actions show.

Lord, have mercy.