Overwhelmed

Monday afternoon found us all with our hearts in our stomachs and our stomachs doing cartwheels. The California Department of Education was coming to visit and the fate of our school was unknown. I found myself at home that night frantic. I couldn't get myself to settle down enough to touch up my lesson plans for our big day. Being in the teacher's focus group scared me. What if they don't like our school? What if we're not good enough?

My community surrounded me and prayed. No one was sure what to pray for. I felt stuck.

I drove to work the next morning, sharing with God my frustrations, fears, and worries. But then I came to a place of surrender. I could only do today what I knew would be best for my students. That's what I need to do every day, no matter who is visiting. The rest was up to God.

So our day started with nervous, anxious energy. Each time the door opened, my heart pounded. However, when they finally walked in, a surprising calm filled me. I was the teacher in that room. I had the power and responsibility to engage and lead my kids, to help them discover and take joy in learning. So, that is what we did.

The teachers' focus panel went well. It was exciting to be able to share with our visitors the pride we have about our school.

The students' focus panel went well. They asked our visitors if it was possible to "let our teachers rest more because they work so hard and are so tired."

The parents' focus panel went well. One mom cried as she expressed her gratitude for our school. Then all the parents began crying and begged the CDE to let us stay open and to open more schools in their area.

The review team met with the leadership team at the end of the day raving. They were impressed by the rigor, the student engagement, the classroom management. They were impressed with us. What affirmation to receive.

And yet, I also know clearly, that it was God's spirit that filled our school today. God had control. He protected us. He protected me. I am in so much awe of His holiness and am overwhelmed by the strength of His power and grace.